Word count: 2,586
Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine and the story is solely fantasy, totally has nothing to do with the real life persons. Some facts, however, might be based on magazine translations.
Summary: Yamada finally said yes to Daiki's invitation, and it ended up giving all kind of mixed feeling.
A.N.: AU. Self-beta'ed.
( Chapter 1: Rejected? )
( Chapter 2: A Step Behind )
( Chapter 3: Confusion )
( Chapter 4: Turning Point )
( Chapter 5: At Dawn )
( Chapter 6: Chaos )
( Chapter 7: Deja Vu )
( Chapter 8: Unmasked )
( Chapter 9: A Friend )
He should have known, really. He could only sigh when the person that was ringing his front door’s bell was apparently Hikaru, and not Daiki. Not that it was such a big deal, but part of him wished that the older guy would at least get him from his house himself.
Reluctantly, Yamada went upstairs to take his phone and wallet, in fact he was taking his time to give himself a one last look in front of his mirror, just to make sure that he wasn’t over-dressed or anything at all. He smiled to himself when he saw his reflection on the mirror. Knee-length dark checkered pants and a polo t-shirt plus a pair of white sneakers, just perfect for Summer. Satisfied with what he saw, he rushed off to Hikaru, not forgetting to lock the door behind him.
His eyes were set on the familiar car that was parked not far from his house as he followed Hikaru. He couldn’t help but question himself if Daiki was in the car waiting for him. As much as he was excited to see the older boy again after all this time, a part of him felt unwilling still. He didn’t understand why himself, but he still couldn’t get over the fact that he got disowned.
“He’s not in the car,” Hikaru spoke up with his distinct goofy smile as he opened the passenger seat’s door.
“Yeah. We need to pick him up from his university. He has extra class today,” explained Hikaru.
Yamada just sat quietly as Hikaru closed the door, his mind wondering to the fact that he had never asked Daiki anything about his studies. Watching the view before him, he noticed how Hikaru drove inside the city and didn’t turn to the highway of the outskirt of the metropolis. This, somehow, made him realise that all this time, Daiki might not exactly as far as he thought he was.
It took them less than fifteen minutes to their destination. He stared in awe at the view before his very own eyes, couldn’t help but gaze through the car’s window. The old buildings, the random statue in the middle of the bricked road they were going through – everything was mesmerising.
When they stopped, he saw a familiar figure sitting on one of the seats in front of a seemingly really old yet classy and righteous building. There, Daiki was talking to several people that Yamada assumed were the older guy’s friends. They looked like they were having the time of their lives, laughing their hearts out with a magazine on one of their laps. For a moment there, Yamada once again realised how different his life was compare to Daiki’s.
Hikaru’s honk seemed to gain Daiki’s attention. Yamada watched the way the other boy waved ‘good-bye’ to his friends, running down the grand stairs in front of the building towards the car. Secretly, Yamada wanted to bang his head to the nearest hard surface he could find when he noticed how Daiki and he ended up wearing the same style again.
“You’re late, Hikaru,” complained Daiki as he stepped into the car, throwing his bag to the back seats’ floor before settling in beside Yamada.
Almost automatically, the younger boy shifted away, distancing himself from Daiki. He felt his heart pounding frantically at the presence of the other’s, somehow not understanding himself for feeling as if it was something that he wasn’t used to at all.
“Traffic, Daiki-san. It took me an hour to reach Yamada’s house,” answered Hikaru before he closed the dark tinted little window that separated the passenger seats from the driver seat.
Silence. The back seat was filled with silence almost right away once Hikaru closed the only way to interact between him and the back of the car. Yamada didn’t dare to turn his head to his side, his heart wasn’t ready to have a direct look at Daiki. It somewhat felt almost as nerve-breaking as when he first being bought, wondering all the time as to whom might have bought him.
“Have you eaten?” Daiki asked.
“Yeah… mum made me lunch before she left for work this morning.”
“Oh… so I guess we go straight to the movie then,” said the older boy.
Yamada gulped pretty loudly when he felt Daiki moved closer to him, spontaneously pushing Daiki away from him. There was shock written all over Daiki’s face, and it wasn’t any different on Yamada’s. He was just as surprised as how the older boy was with his own action.
“I… ehm, well…” he mumbled.
“Are you still mad about me disowning you?” Daiki asked.
“Maybe…” Yamada answered honestly. “You’re a jerk… leaving me all alone,” he added.
“I… don’t deny that I think.”
The answer that the older boy gave him made him feel almost guilty for saying that Daiki was a jerk. He observed the way the other sighed heavily, sinking himself to the leather seat with his head down. There was a sense of remorse in the way Daiki stared at his own knees, and Yamada didn’t like how that looked.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that…” said Yamada quickly, regretting what he said almost right away.
“I deserve it…” Daiki sighed.
Things got awkward for Yamada’s liking afterwards. He didn’t dare to walk side by side with the older boy once they arrived at the cinema, unconsciously walking a step behind as if he was still Daiki’s pet. Not to mention how the atmosphere of the cinema was making him feel somewhat uncomfortable.
There were many people around their age, just like how it was the day before when he met Yuto at the fast food restaurant. They looked intimate with their friends; laughing, joking around, and randomly nudging each other. Once again, Yamada somewhat felt like an outcast.
If not because Daiki suddenly touched his shoulder, Yamada believed he would keep on thinking about how he didn’t really have that many friends. None at all, in fact. It wouldn’t be the first time he felt he didn’t belong in the real world because it wasn’t the world he grew up on.
“Something bothering you?” Daiki asked, leading them to the studio.
“Yeah… for awhile now…” Yamada answered.
“Wanna talk about it?”
“I don’t know. Maybe not,” he lied.
He sat down quietly on their seats, knowing that he didn’t mean that last answer he gave Daiki. The real world scared him, and he still wished Daiki would take him back to the mansion where everything was a lot simpler.
Yamada found himself unable to concentrate on the movie. It was a comedy action, something that he had learned from the DVDs at home as a movie genre that he could enjoy. Yet, being there alone was making him feel uncomfortable, somewhat making him feel insignificant. Without thinking, he glided his hand to his side, trying to find Daiki’s and hold it tight as if his life was depending on it.
“… are you okay?” Daiki whispered.
“No…” he answered throatily.
“Do you want to leave?”
Shaking his head, Yamada turned his gaze to Daiki. The other’s expression was soft, very unlike the way the older boy used to look at him. Yamada remembered this look, the one look that he saw only that one time he let Daiki sexually use him. It made him wondering if the fact that they no long had any kind of relationship with each other made it a lot easier for Daiki to not act stiff towards him.
He gasped when Daiki did something unexpected. The older boy didn’t ask him anything further but he leaned his head on Yamada’s shoulder, entwining their fingers as he did so. He never saw this side of Daiki before and he started to think that maybe he would see more of the real Daiki in the future… and that somehow calmed him down.
Contented when he managed to enjoy the movie at the end, Yamada found himself staring at the head on his shoulder. Daiki looked pretty normal, the soft expression on his face had long gone, and he looked like he was enjoying the movie.
“You should share your popcorn…” Yamada suddenly mumbled, his free hand reaching out to the popcorn box on Daiki’s lap.
To his surprise, Daiki slapped his hand away.
“No,” the other shushed him.
“But…” Yamada frowned, reaching out for it again. “You asked me out, you should share!”
Daiki sat up as he chuckled quietly, this time shoving the box to Yamada. “That's better. You’ve been acting weird,” the older boy said, a grin was on his face.
It felt like their closeness disappear when the lights were once again turned on, the credit rolling up on the big screen as the movie ended. Their hands left each other almost automatically and Yamada once again felt the distance between them. He watched Daiki throwing the empty popcorn, feeling a little bit fidgeting from far.
He could only nod when Daiki said that he would send Yamada home, the little jokes they shared earlier suddenly felt a little bit of a dream instead of something that really happened. There was only silence as they got into the car and for some reason Yamada sat at the far end of the passenger seat, just like he did when they were heading to the cinema earlier.
“I’ll call you?” Daiki said when they reached Yamada’s house.
“Okay…” Yamada said, a forced smile on his face.
Confusing himself, it was hard to leave the car. He stopped half way, his leg hanging in between the car and the hard road opposite his house. Turning his head, Yamada pursed his lips, biting the lower pink flesh while eyes gazing over the familiar child-like face before him.
“Wanna drop by?” he asked.
Daiki was clearly not expecting him to say something like that, but Yamada knew that the other wouldn’t say “no”. He had never gotten the answer that he wanted with everything that had been happening with his life since he met Daiki, so maybe this would be a great time to get some sort of private time with the older boy.
He led Daiki inside, grabbing some fruit sodas (the only type of soda that he could stand drinking) from the refrigerator before heading upstairs to his room. “It’s not as big as your place, of course,” Yamada remarked, opening his room’s door as he gestured his hand to let Daiki enter first.
“Oh shut up,” Daiki chuckled. “But it’s really nice. Very homey.”
“Well yeah… other than the fact that I only see my mum during breakfast… and maybe dinner if she’s not busy.”
“You’ll get used to that. I did,” the older guy commented.
Sighing, Yamada sat down on his bed, his eyes staring up to Daiki, watching the older man inspecting his room. It was a little weird to see the older guy being all relaxed, not distancing himself to Yamada in any way at all; in fact Yamada had started to notice how he was the one that was keeping himself away from Daiki.
“Take me back…”
Daiki turned his head to Yamada, blinking. “What?”
“I said, take me back. I don’t know. I just… don’t like being all alone like this.”
“You know that I can’t do that. You have your mother and stuff. It wasn’t easy to find her,” Daiki frowned.
“I know. But what’s the whole point of all this? I don’t have a purpose! At least back in the mansion I have something to look forward to everyday.”
“There was nothing to look forward to when you were just a pet. I don’t get you,” Daiki rolled his eyes, resting a hand on his hips.
“No, I don’t get you,” Yamada exclaimed back, remembering how heated it could get when the two of them disagreed on something. “You just don’t know it, but I look forward to be called by you. Every single day.”
His jaw dropped in disbelief. It was just like one of those moments when things started to make sense to him, things flashing back before his own eyes. He remembered the incident at Chinen’s house, or the part where Daiki secretly made Takaki give him food when he was locked up.
He stood up, inhaling a deep breath – hands randomly touching the hem of his shirt while walking closer to where Daiki was standing. Their eyes met just in the perfect way, might be their similar height, but he doubted it had anything to do with it.
“I might be academically behind, but I’m not that stupid,” he told the other boy. “We both know you have feelings for me, whatever these feelings might be.”
“Your point?” Daiki raised an eyebrow as he tilted his head.
The younger one among the two of them stepped closer, his eyes were fixed on the other’s big brown irises. “What if you’re not the only one?” said Yamada. “What if the reason why I’m so mad at you is because you took me away from… you.”
When Daiki smirked, half chuckling, and then shook his head, with hand rubbing the back of his neck, Yamada knew that once again he still ended up being the one that didn’t know a single idea of what was going on. He figured things out, again, but still ended up being confused at the end of the day.
“Why are you laughing?!” Yamada retorted.
“Because you are just clueless like always, Yamada.” Daiki took his wrist, pulling Yamada closer to him.
They were just inches away, making Yamada gulp audibly. His stomach flipped funnily at the familiar closeness while his lashes batted against each other when he felt Daiki’s fingers ghosting over his neck. “You’re such a tease…” Yamada mumbled, instinctively closing the gap between them to press his lips against the other’s soft plums.
They were soft and bewildering, just the way he remembered it. He pulled away, lingering to it while his eyes flustering to find out the reaction that Daiki would give him. “You see, you wouldn’t be the one that kissed me if you were still my pet,” Daiki smirked, stealing a peck from the younger boy.
“So, do you get it now?” the older guy asked.
Yamada turned away, making his way to bedside table where he put his soda can. He sighed to his drink – barely drinking it, his lips were only resting on the edge of the can. He didn’t jump in shock when he felt Daiki resting his chin on his shoulder from behind, the other breath felt warm against his neck.
“I’m not gonna let you be all on your own. That’s why I sent Yuto,” Daiki whispered. “…but I guess it should have been me, shouldn’t it?”
“So now you get it?”
“Hahaha. Yeah,” Daiki laughed.
Daiki gave Yamada a pat on his shoulder before pulling his chin away from the younger boy. Yamada turned to him, watching Daiki grabbing his own soda, gulping to it to finish it. “I should go home now. Dad will be home tonight, so family dinner. Cannot miss that.”
“Oh… so soon?”
“Well, can’t help it. We’ll set up another date?” Daiki asked.
He smiled, quaking his head while rolling his eyes, this time not because he didn’t understand Daiki, but because it always felt nice to feel less confused about how things were around him.
“I would really like that.”
I've finished two nights ago, but I was supposed to post it up yesterday (or today, idek. It's 2.42am, so it's yesterday I guess). I spent the whole day sleeping instead because I'm sick (damn antibiotics), and I'm wide awake for awhile now so I decided to just post this up.